Wow this spoke to me a lot. Sometimes I just have to tell myself "loneliness right now may just be a feeling and not something based on objective fact. Reach out to a friend, even if you don't want to" and it helps.
Currently my kitten is pretending to devour my hand. I don't mind. Someone else tries this...uh...
I take a neighbor of mine for drives. He is 75 and a Sinatra era gay married man, misogynist, alfa type, and ill, and is home alone a lot, as his partner works still, and has a long commute. It is like having the power in the fifties and early sixties to push back against the mistreatment of young women endemic in that generation, and rearing it's ugly head in our society now. For him, I am like his sister, he thinks is overeducated, and stupidly living her life. For him a conversation is a barely submerged arguement, he is alone, way too much, and I am his link to anyone else besides his husband, who is watching him fall apart, in every way. He constantly plays the they're so stupid game, and I drive because he knows he lapses and can't remember where he has been, and how long he has been gone. I bring them treats. His husband is very nice. Their house of cards is hard to watch, at least they were able to marry. ♡ I gave up being lonely, I am back to just being myself, alone time is necessary for me to put myself first, live in my own skin, generate my own joy. I have to consciously remember I am happy. That is the trick of tricks.
@HellsDonutHouse crowded train commute during the holidays when the guys in the green uniforms with white gloves get on the platform and tuck y'all into the train.
I take a neighbor of mine for drives. He is 75 and a Sinatra era gay married man, misogynist, alfa type, and ill, and is home alone a lot, as his partner works still, and has a long commute. It is like having the power in the fifties and early sixties to push back against the mistreatment of young women endemic in that generation, and rearing it's ugly head in our society now. For him, I am like his sister, he thinks is overeducated, and stupidly living her life. For him a conversation is a barely submerged arguement, he is alone, way too much, and I am his link to anyone else besides his husband, who is watching him fall apart, in every way. He constantly plays the they're so stupid game, and I drive because he knows he lapses and can't remember where he has been, and how long he has been gone. I bring them treats. His husband is very nice. Their house of cards is hard to watch, at least they were able to marry. ♡ I gave up being lonely, I am back to just being myself, alone time is necessary for me to put myself first, live in my own skin, generate my own joy. I have to consciously remember I am happy. That is the trick of tricks.