Cookie Thief

I went to talk to my wife, who was gardening next to the apple tree. I told her "There is a squirrel right behind you."

"That's the squirrel [neighbor] feeds." The squirrel looked at us a while and then climbed to the top of the tree, where it had wedged a massive cookie. It grabbed it and ran off. "And that's [neighbor]'s cookie!"

Turns out that the neighbor had bought a cookie this morning, left it on her counter, and lost track of it.

Mystery solved.

I have a feeling I won't die. I'll just transform into a children's book.